


Memories of a Red Flag Kingdom

by zera_ren



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Abuse, Alcohol, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, BDSM, Denial, Drug Abuse, Drug Use, F/M, Forced, Recreational Drug Use, Rough Sex, Self-Harm, The First Order Wins (Star Wars)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:14:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24417217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zera_ren/pseuds/zera_ren
Summary: Three years later, and you're in the happiest relationship of your life. Right? What truly happens when you close those doors and shut off the lights, and his hands begin to close the space between you two? Is his touch really that gentle, or are you going to finally admit to yourself what everyone else already knows?...It's been years, yet the nightmares still haunt you. His hands on your waist, on your lower back, dragging you down on top of him...but now you're with someone new who loves you and is gentle...right?
Relationships: Kylo Ren & Reader, Kylo Ren & You, Kylo Ren/Reader, Kylo Ren/You, Poe Dameron & You, Poe Dameron/You
Kudos: 2





	1. Preface

**Author's Note:**

> Please note that the Poe Dameron here is Dark Poe Dameron, a *different entity* from the sort of unfeeling Poe Dameron from the last work, "The Incredibly True Story No One Would Ever Believe."
> 
> I really liked the idea of using a known character in the fandom but you've got to remember Dark Poe here and Poe in the other work represent DIFFERENT people. BUT Kylo Ren / Ben still represents the same person.
> 
> Again, everything is true (within reason, some things added for flow, chapters may be added and change and move around as I see fit, spellings and junk may be edited finer at a later date, etc).

It started so gently and sweetly. It was never meant to be anything more than a rebound after the last one break your heart into a million pieces. But soon, quick glances became long stares that had you falling in love faster than the speed of light. Before you knew it, boxes of your clothes, robes, and spare lightsaber parts were being moved into a small apartment on New Byss, the home and main branch of the Jedi Assembly. Here you trained and grew, and you had been hesitant to leave. Now serving as a Jedi Master you took the option of leaving the "living cubes" for a small space to share with the light of your life, D'Poe. 

"I'm so excited to live with you! This is going to be amazing. We'll spend so much time together and be so productive! This is the best decision we've made, no doubt" he said, smiling as he placed down the last box. "Here, help me disassemble the frame so we can attach our beds together? No, don't worry, we can use the dresser to pin them together." 

Everything was perfect. Dark Poe brought you flowers and small acorns often from his travels with his furry companion, Marjas. Sure, every now and again you'd have a little disagreement but nothing a drink or session with the pipe smoke couldn't handle, right? 

. . . 

Months later, it was the same every day, and yet somehow worse. You'd fall asleep with nightmares every night, but you'd eventually wake from the nightmares you lived throughout the day, right? 


	2. Three Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They always talk about the reactions, fight or flight, fight or flight, fight or flight. They never talk about the third reaction: Freeze. 
> 
> Frigid, frail, frightened. 
> 
> Dark Poe's planning more for you than a simple cuddle after the lights go down in your bedroom.

The darkness was your only solace. In the quiet of the night, it was possible for the cool breezes to filter through the crack in the window and carry you through the warm nights off to sleep. Lately, all you've managed to do was lay in the bed and close your eyes. Lessons with the masters have lost their meaning and even sleep evades your grasp. And yet still, like a moth drawn to a light, Poe's body lies next to you and his warmth spreads across the sheets. No matter where you go, he's there. But as promising as that used to be, now it feels more like an imminent threat.

You play like you're sleeping, hoping it will ward him off for a while yet. Tonight, like every night, begin his checks. Calling your name softly name, giving you a gentle nudge on the shoulder. Again, a nudge. There are always two nudges, but less than five. The shaking is slow but light, always intentional to wake you from a lighter stage but not to wake you. "Are you awake, sweetheart?" Scared, you offer a small and soft grunt, the way your subconscious might respond. But tonight like so many increasing nights, he turns his head to stare at your still body tucked safely under the cheap blue and grey duvet. 

You can almost hear his wicked smile break across his face and tear apart the silence of the room. Poe scoffs to himself as he lightly drapes kisses your across your cheek and down your neck, his hands placed Seeing you supposedly deep in slumber arouses a feeling in him that he is getting quite accustomed to, and Poe slowly pulls the blanket down to reveal your bare legs and nightshirt. Normally, it would drop a few inches above your knee, but the curled position you lie in it rides higher. Poe's hands move from leaning over you to grip the edges of your nightshirt, and he begins to raise it to rest along your lower back. You shiver in anticipation and fear, your heart beginning to race and palms sweaty. This is exactly what you were trying to avoid by pretending to be asleep. Captivated by worry and silently begging him to stop, your heart rate jumps. He won't do this, not again. You're not awake to consent, and the quiet grunts from a sleeping girl don't count as consent. He wouldn't hurt you, not again. It wasn't even his fault the very first time, it was the alcohol. But the only inebriated state he finds himself in now is that accompanied by his pipe, and he's still himself. At least, he should be. 

A rustle of cloth and the unmistakeable sound of the pop of the lube bottle opening break through the silence hanging in the cool air. You're pinned down from fear again, the same as last time. _What if you try to stop him and he doesn't stop?_ He's expressed secret desires to rape old schoolmates of his, to tear their clothes off and pin them down and use them as he pleases. To fuck them as they cry and beg him to stop. Under the safety of darkness, he revealed that he wishes it was possible to hurt them, and he told you this, knowing full well what monsters lay lurking in your past. _What if he does this to you? At least by laying here, it's not that bad, right? It'll be over soon, right? Maybe he just wants skin-to-skin contact._ The thoughts race around in your head and work against you in instilling fear of the possible scenarios you know your relationship would never recover from. Could Poe actually hurt you like this again? 

Poe slips his thumbs into your waistband, gently sliding your panties down your thighs to as they curl around themselves. A thick ball is in your throat, and your heartbeat echos like drums in your ears. gently and slowly, Poe pulls your legs straight one at a time before tipping you over to lie flat on your stomach. 

You're quite surprised he can't feel you quaking underneath him. It must be that he's only paying attention to his throbbing member as it slides into you. You're tight, but Poe wastes no time in thrusting himself hard into you. He doesn't bother warming you up as you're nothing more than a piece of ass at the moment. There's something missing, it feels too real. All of a sudden, the realization hits: Where was the crinkle of the rubber opening? The sound was absent. He's unprotected and fucking you hard enough to wake you. Would there be bruises this time? `

_Get up. Get Up! Stop him, please! Just do something, please! Cry out or try to push him off. Please, do something!_

Your brain screams as he continuously fucks you hard. His breathe is heavy on your neck, his pants filing the former quiet of the room. The smell of your sex and his mix, the sweat so thick it could choke you. Or maybe it is and you just are too focused on your failures right now.

Do you wake up? Do you fight him off? What gives him the right to do this to you? Sure, you're dating but does that mean he gets to treat you like property? Is he even treating you badly now? You haven't put out much for him, maybe he deserves to let off a little steam. Of course you've noticed the way he's been staring at other women, like they're a prize to be conquered or a snack he can't have. You've heard the words he's said, how you disgust him. You aren't beautiful or strong, you're just the closest possible warm sex toy. Being with you and not fucking other women was a reward to you. You should be grateful...right? The discomfort slowly turns to pain as the lube wears thin and your pussy grapples to open to this foreign and unwanted entrance. Giving up the thought of freedom, you slip away into the comfort of your mind. 

* * *

The sand is cool yet holds a slight bit of warmth so you sit with your knees to your chest, your head resting upon them. Slight sea breezes filter through your hair and the you that's there takes a deep breath. The sky is a mix between twilight and sunset, and you tip your head up a bit to watch the stars slowly start to dot across the sky. Crashing waves are absent from this sheltered lagoon as you watch the waves gently lap against the shore. Hugging your body, the dark maroon hoodie keeps you safe from the hands back in reality that are touching you, and your underwear is snugly resting in their place against your hips, keeping you safe from intruders. _It's always sunset here,_ you remark as your gaze turns to focus on the black rocks in their circle, protecting the shore a hundred yards out. The waves lap quietly against the shore.

Poe moans and puts his full weight on you, clearly not giving a damn to whether you'll wake up or not. As suddenly as he started, he grunts and moans audibly, and the movement of his jaw opening to express his joy is clear against your head. The sick feeling of his cum shooting into you turns your stomach in knots and flips. Poe lays against you for a moment, panting like a dog in heat against your back. He begins to right himself, cleaning himself up first before haphazardly giving your nether regions a couple of half-hearted wipes with the cloth. You're still wet and sticky but he doesn't care.

He leaves you alone to wash his hands and returns, pulling the duvet over you both. Poe rolls towards his half of the bed, and in the ensuing silence, the realization starts to drag you back from dreamworld to the reality that your panties are still bunched down now by your knees and he fully intends to leave them there, rolled. He wants you to wake and know what he's done to you in your sleep. 

However, you're feeling, this is your fault. This has to been your fault. They're always talking about the two reactions: fight or flight. It's clearly your fault you decided to freeze.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have a better name idea than me just using "Dark Poe", feel free to let me know!
> 
> Way more is going to be added on, I'm just tired now and wanted to write a little.


	3. Floor 19

It happened a long time ago, back in the early days before you lived together. He would often come visit you in the dormitories of the academy. Your secret rendezvous point was Floor 19, a forgotten little place come weekdays. Poe worked hard to woo you, after he caught your attention one day on a whim. Since the Jedi Academy kicked you out for the fighting, the Trooper Academy was your only choice, as long as you kept up the ruse that you'd never been part of the Resistance. It seemed simple enough until the dreamy grey-eyed man with the soft head of dark curls caught you eye. Of course you recognized him, he was one of the most famous fighters to ever come out of the Resistance. Maybe that's what made him so dreamy. A young girl caught up in the First Order running around with a potential Rebel Spy. Dank Farrik was your situation _steamy_.

Tonight is different though. He's drunk on Spotchka again, but this time he can barely stand and he staggers around loudly. It's almost embarrassing but at least no one is around this time. He took you on a nice date earlier when he was sober, but as the evening went on things started to get progressively worse. He falls to the couch and begs you to turn off the light and come towards him. The only light barely streams in from the windows and the other room, but you can see him enough. Poe sits up and pushes four empty cans of Spotchka off the couch and they loudly hit the ground. Settling down next to him, he reaches towards you and wraps his hand around your head. He pulls you towards himself and envelops you in a sloppy kiss. It's too wet and you pull away. He's too drunk for this, you're too sober. Poe starts getting handsy and it causes you to shift away. Why is he acting so weird?

Poe stares at you, gently setting a hand on your knee. "Do you remember the first time we came here? We made out like silly little teenagers and had sex in the bathroom. I think we should do that again, huh?" He smiles, leaning in for another kiss. "Hey there, no, I'm okay." Raising an arm to your chin, he turns your face to look at him. Maker, his eyes were dreamy but now something dark stood there. The longer you looked, the more it started to seem like a different person. His entire demeanor was off and changing with each passing second. Where was that kind and gentle hero you knew? Some drunk stranger is staring back at you. It's too much so you pull away again. "Come on," he pleads, "I'll be gentle. Please? I want you so bad." 

Poe leans over you, toppling you on your back. "Stop it, I mean it!" You voice is angry now, why isn't he listening to you? Who IS this? "Hey I told you I don't want to do this, please stop! It's going to hurt, I'm not wet enough! Please Poe, no!" You cries are quiet now, and the fear is dripping in your voice. But Poe isn't stopping, no, instead his hands hold you down, press you into the couch. Writhing underneath him, you attempt to push him off. He might be drunk but he's still got much more strength than you. "Poe, please!" "Shhh, it's fine. You're okay. I won't hurt you." His words are alarming. He's really going to do this despite your begging and your attempts to stop him. 

Your boots aren't secured and they fall off the edge of the couch as he lightly wrangles you down. One of Poe's hands reaches down to unbutton your pants but it's impossible with his stage of absent sobriety. Switching to both, he makes fast work of tugging them down around your ankles but it's difficult with you struggling beneath him. Panicking, you push his shoulders up but it's like pushing against a wall. One hand sneaks up under your shirt to fondle your breasts as the other reaches down to yank your underwear away. He flattens himself against you, picking up his hips and spitting into his hand, coating his tip with it. Tears well in your cheeks as the cold embraces you and he pushes open your legs. "Shhh," he whispers, "It's okay. It's not going to hurt." 

Poe's a drunk and a liar, and your insides begin to burn. Your tears are spilling across your cheeks as he pushes himself deeper inside of you. He groans, and shoves harder. "See? It's okay." Each thrust burns your vagina as he holds your wrists secure to the couch so you can't resist. It's too dark for him to see your tears, or he's too drunk. Poe repeatedly forces himself inside, filling you with pain and fear. You fixate your eyes on the door as someone walks in but it's too dark for his eyes to adjust quickly enough to see what's happening. "Oh, sorry!" he calls and quickly retreats, seeing that the room isn't empty. All you can do is will him to come back but you're too frozen to call out for help. Poe grunts and turns you over, holding you tight against the couch. He tires of thrusting and can't seem to finish. He's been fucking you against your will for hours it seems, and eventually he groans in disgust at his inability to cum inside you. Poe releases your wrists and lets you go. Fixing himself, he sits up. "See, wasn't that fun?" You quickly wipe your eyes and nod, staring at the floor. It burns between your thighs something awful. Sighing, he grabs his datapad and checks the time. "Oh, I've got to go. Don't worry, I can see myself out." You walk with him to the elevator and you get off at your floor. "Goodnight, cutie." The door closes and you slowly make you way to your room, using the walls as support. Carefully you slide out of your regulation pants and crawl into your bed. Serah, your roommate, sleeps quietly and you make sure your tears and cries are silent as to not wake her. Curling in a ball, you crack the window and cry into your pillow. Poe just...hurt you. He hurt you. It felt impossible to wrap your mind completely around it, so you didn't. Instead you silently sobbed yourself asleep.


	4. The One Who Walks with Green Eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is actually a one shot that takes place a month before the start of the rest of this story, but feels like it belongs in the work. It's coming soon. It might not stay in the work, but if I move it I'll let you know here.

His name was Makari, and you met through a friend. He had sparking green eyes and a laugh that was nearly infectious. Markari was different than anyone you'd yet met, as he revealed to you one night that he was still untouched. It started off as puppy love, a kind of light relationship that developed into something deeper. There were long nights spent on holocalls, up studying for the Jedi Academy exams. He was warm and caring, his touch gentle and soft. Over the course of your relationship, he began to open up with you about his past and his life.

And you learned to be open too. His roommates in his dorm were funny, and they often gave you space to be alone with him. One night, they planned to take you out to a party off campus but you had to slip out after dark. They had begun to break out the Spotchka early in the evening, but you were held up by late night trainings. Of course, your late arrival made you think that you had to catch up, so when they weren't looking you quickly finished off two mugs. By the time it started to hit you, you were four mugs in and standing was suddenly impossible. 

<More coming soon I super promise!>


End file.
